Reading Your Daughter

My dad is a voracious reader. He carries several pens and a yellow highlighter in his pocket protector—always—so he can record his thoughts and underline key words. A quick perusal of his bookshelf will give you a glimpse into his interests: political, religious, and medical. He shares his vast knowledge on almost any subject with careful cross-referencing—handing me a book outlining the details of his argument.

I love it.

On this last trip, Dad gave me several books to read, one was titled, Taking Care of your Elderly Parents. My mom is shipping that one (I didn’t finish it!). But the one I adore is titled, Stein on Writing, with an inscription, “To Connie, with love, Dad!”

Ahh…

Dad didn’t know it at the time, but that’s the best gift he has ever given me (except for the letter he wrote to me shortly after I was married). It was a gift from the heart because Dad’s books are like his children—he doesn’t part with them (even if I ask politely!). This, however, was even more poignant because he gave it freely—he picked it out for me.

The book, by the way, is the best I have ever read on the subject of writing (fiction or nonfiction). It’s a writer’s conference in a book. In fact, if you don’t have this reference book in your library you are missing a vital link to the craft of writing. As a master editor of some of the most successful writers of our century, Stein liberally shares techniques and strategies. Normally, when I read a book filled with such valuable information, I follow my dad’s example and underline, write notes in the margin, highlight with a pink marker, and tab the pages. I resisted. Instead I savored each page and took notes on the back of my ticket voucher (which is now carefully filed away).

Why?

This is a gift from the heart—to be cherished. As I flipped through the pages, I imagined my dad reading in his chair with his black-rimmed glasses and yellow highlighter in hand. Tears flowed. Several times during the trip, my hubby asked me if I was okay. I dabbed my eyes and said, “I’m fine.”

I was not.

From California to Denver and from Denver to Baltimore, I cried—no sobbed. It’s not unusual—I do it every time. I wore my dark sunglasses (the ones with palm trees and flamingos), and re-lived the still precious moments: Dad fixing waffles for breakfast; working in his vegetable garden; taking Brandy—his beloved German short hair—on a walk EVERY morning; working in the garage—sculpting works of art from wood; picking up more books at garage sales, and sharing his opinion on political views.

I always wondered why I loved to read and now I know why.

Thanks, Dad, from your daughter with love!

Rocky Mountain High

We arrived home at 3:00 a.m. and woke up at 11:00 a.m. to a cat who is not “speaking” to us. I’ll give her some space and hopefully she’ll snap out of it.

Yesterday flying over the Rocky Mountains was a highlight for me (which is why we go through Denver on the way to California). If you hit it just right, the layers of pastels at sunset are a blur of lavender, orange, yellow, and violet with a smoky haze that takes your breath away. However, we did not see that view this time, but it was still spectacular.

This morning, I’m still on a “high” because my passport arrived (a miracle!). Sometime I hope to share the rest of the story on that one (smile!)...

Although spring has arrived in all its glory in California, we arrived home to shades of gray in Lancaster County. But this morning (okay, this afternoon—to be precise!), I peeked out the window and saw a fleck of yellow. Spring has delivered its first package—a yellow crocus. The daffodils and tulips will follow (hopefully!).

I’ll leave you with some memories of our time in California with family…










Blessings!

Wearing your Wrinkles

I sat in the hot tub at LA Fitness (pool therapy for my arm), and the woman next to me blurted out, “Oh, I see you had thyroid surgery—how are you feeling?”

I thought, What is she talking about?

As soon as the words formed in my head—the woman pointed to my neck.

“Oh and I can tell you also had a cervical laminectomy, as well. I had one several years ago. See..." she said, pointing to her neck.

What the woman didn’t know—what she possibly couldn’t understand—was I became a victim of “wrinkle mania.”

I bought this "terrific" wrinkle cream, schlepped it on, fell asleep before I had time to rub it in—as the label had suggested—and woke up with two large streaks across my neck.

The problem with wrinkles; they form little crevices. While I was sleeping, the little crevices grew into deep craters. The wrinkle cream ate through my skin, forming two huge red lines across my neck—resembling surgical scars.

Okay, I’m going to make a confession here. If you lose too much weight, wrinkles appear in places you never had—like around the eyes and neck.

I don’t like the “skinny” me; I like the “plump” me better!

This all started about a year ago when my family physician said to me, “So, what do you want to do about your weight problem?”

“What weight problem?” I countered. My weight at the time was within normal limits for my height, but according to her—I was overweight. So I started myself on a very gradual weight loss program by eating less and exercising more.

The pounds slipped off.

Now, I’m sagging around the face with "thyroidectomy" and "cervical laminectomy" scars (can you tell I used to work in the medical field?).

I finally confessed to the over-inquisitive woman that I had neither surgery, but I was suffering from post-weight loss wrinkles complicated by "wrinkle-cream dermatitis."

She howled.

I did not!

My neck itches like crazy and I absolutely refuse to wear a turtleneck in the pool. I thought about wearing a scarf around my neck, but that looked ridiculous as well. And a towel—that was worse!

But today, I feel relieved that I can’t go to the gym because we had a Nor’easter overnight that dumped six inches (plus) of snow, and I can’t even see my car—much less drive anywhere.

The moral of the story: wear your wrinkles (and be thankful you lived long enough to see them!).





P.S. I think I'll just sit on the back porch and enjoy the snow!

Living with Technology

Twice this week I have fallen asleep with my laptop on my chest (it happens when you “read” in bed). That’s okay, but it's not so great for those stellar thoughts you were writing that disappeared once your laptop went into "hibernation" mode and you didn’t save it!

Then I posted an interview on Momlogic this week with Sherry Taylor Cummins author of Pink Ribbon Devotions to Go—it’s part of the Ning Social Network. Somehow in cyberspace they confused my “login” with someone else, so now I can’t log back in to answer questions about the interview. I’m locked out of my own “network.”

That came on the day after I waited in line for a passport (another post entirely). It seems I let my passport expire and I need it quickly. But the Passport Office has a set of rules based on “need.” You have to fall into a specific time frame for “hurry up; I need this now.” That means either you need to leave the country in 24-72 hours or you need to leave in exactly two weeks. If you don’t fall into those two “need” categories then you really don’t have a problem. But what if you need to leave in three weeks?

Talking to the folks in the Passport Office is like talking a foreign language. I asked, “What if you don’t get my ‘stuff’ and process it before I need to leave in three weeks?” Her response, “Well, you’ll need to get your pictures taken again!”

I laid my head down on my desk and thought, Lady, we have a failure to communicate.

This week made me realize how dependent we are on technology: computers, social networks, e-mail, Inbox and Outbox. Oh, did I mention: I also destroyed the settings in my Outlook, so my Inbox looks “empty” except I have 1,250 e-mails in it. Now I have to delete everything first in order to separate my e-mail.

I will be traveling for the next two months and my dear friend recently asked me, “Are you bringing your laptop with you?”

Not if I can help it! I think I need a break from technology and wait for my "settings" to be restored and for my identity to be recognized so I can become a "real" person again!

Until next time…

The Color Red

This is the month of sweetheart roses and valentines, but it’s also the month of red.

There are red dresses to symbolize American Heart Health (Go Red for Women!); there are the red heart stamps that I just found this morning stuck in an envelope (I knew I would find them!) before USPS increased postage again in May, and just this morning, I peeked outside to find a red cardinal on my neighbor’s flower ornament. I checked twice to make sure it was real.

Yep, it was real!

I dashed upstairs, got my camera, and gingerly opened the sliding door to the back porch. I prayed that it would stay still long enough for me to take just ONE picture. I held my breath, pointed, and clicked.

So what’s the big deal about a cardinal in the snow?

I have been chasing cardinals for as long as I can remember and it’s as if they knew it was on my passionate to-do list.

“Can’t catch me!” I could hear them squawk back.

But today the cardinal cooperated. And what a better day: fluffy snow and a red tree as a backdrop. Now I can scratch that one off my passionate to-do list.

It sure does the heart good to know that I don’t have to slip, slide, and chase down red birds in the snow.

I love the color red—don’t you?

A Day to Remember

While sitting in Border’s Bookstore I desperately tried to finish writing my Valentine’s cards and make sure they made it in the evening mail. As I wrote my last card, an elderly gentleman interrupted my thoughts. He went from table to table pulling out a tattered photo from his pocket. “This is my sweetheart,” he said with tears forming in his eyes. He went on to explain, “We had our last dinner together at the Palms in Willow Valley—it was our thirtieth wedding anniversary.”

I listened intently as he placed the photo next to my green tea latte. “I lost my wife to cancer six months ago,” he blurted out. “I miss her more than you can imagine.”

Several customers who were annoyed that their respite at Borders had been interrupted, moved away to other tables or wandered to the back of the store. I took the photo, cupped it in my hands, and commented on how lovely his wife looked in her violet-colored dress with a corsage of pink roses.

His face lit up.

He went on to explain how they met, fell in love, and had three beautiful children. I laid my pen down and listened to more of their love story. “This is my first Valentine’s Day without my sweetheart,” he finally admitted. He glanced down at my stack of Valentine’s cards and added, “I don’t want to take any more of your time… thank you for listening.”

He shuffled back to his seat, buttered his plain bagel, and sipped black coffee with the photo of his wife propped up against a stack of books he had gathered to read. There she remained the entire time, until he finished, picked up his things, and gently placed the photo of his dear wife back in his wallet.

Tears dropped—one by one—onto my Valentine’s cards as I watched the ink smear on my stack of pink and white envelopes. I grabbed a scratchy brown paper napkin and blotted my eyes before fixing the spills.

Time—he just wanted more time with his beloved. Everyone in Borders was so absorbed in their books, magazines, and bagels they couldn’t give a grieving widower a moment of their time. I have to admit that I was tempted to turn away because I was on a tight schedule, but I felt compelled to listen. I saw in this elderly gentleman’s eyes a hurt that ached for his dear wife. He just needed a listening ear.

Images of his wife—and their once happy life—were gone! This Valentine’s Day will be his first without his sweetheart and a test of his faith. I’m thankful I listened and wished I could have done more, but maybe that’s all he needed—a listening ear.

Valentine’s Day is a time to remember those we love and an opportunity to share just how much they mean to us—not just one day a year—but every day of our lives.

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!

Skating on Thin Ice!

Today is a record 44 degrees and balmy. I loaded up the car and headed to my other office, “ The Panera,” when I noticed my running shoes laying in the backseat of the car—all laced up ready to go. They only thing they were missing were my two feet. I ripped off my scarf, took off my gloves and coat, and shouted, “Yippee, no more ice!”

You know the saying, “pride cometh before a fall.” I laced up my running shoes and started jogging down the driveway. I got about 25 feet from the car and there it was—a patch of black ice—desperately trying to melt. I don’t remember much after that, but I literally skated on thin ice with my arms flailing in every direction. I heard a pop in my left shoulder (the one with a newly torn rotator cuff), and then came the “zinger”—it’s like an electric shock that doesn’t go away. Good thing I already have a scheduled appointment with the orthopedist on Friday.

I dragged my body back to the car and started out again and thought to myself, The statistics are right…most accidents occur within a five-mile radius from the home. Yes, I guess that applies to skating accidents. It’s ironic that I cancelled a speaking engagement in West Virginia because of black ice and ended up almost “breaking my neck” twenty-five feet from our house.

I called my mom in California and she reminded me that things aren’t that “rosy” in California: there’s fog, rain, and occasional frost.”

“Yes, Mom, I remember…”

But the one thing they don’t have is ice—baby—ice!

Will I miss the ice storms on the East Coast?

Absolutely not!

No more skating on thin ice for this “girl.”

The Proper "Weigh" Revisted

Two years ago, I posted this blog on Boomer Babes and can you believe it...the ten pounds finally came off? So now I don't have to go to such great "lengths" to make myself believe that I actually weigh less than I actually "was" (are you confused yet?). Read on...

If you don't want to do it the hard way (eat less and exercise more), just get yourself a Kymaro body shaper (they work...you automatically look 10-20 pounds thinner). Although once you're in, you're not getting out (trust me!). You will be permanently "iglooed" into that thing. I almost called 911 to help me wiggle out until my hubby arrived on the scene and rescued me (not once, but twice!). I must say the proper "weigh" is so much easier!

Here's a stroll down memory lane...

“I can’t believe I was doing it wrong all these years. We MUST get the word out!”

My precious mom sent me this e-mail last week; I fell off my chair laughing! Only because I am THAT woman! For years, I have been tricking myself into believing that I’m the proper weight. And—now—I want to share with you a little “secret”!

First of all, I do weigh myself (regularly!), once a month in Towson, MD (are you listening, Dotsie?). I go to the GNC store (lower level of the Towson Mall), tastefully peel off all the layers of clothing (to what is legally allowed!), put 50 cents into that silly weight machine, and enter my height: 5 feet 11 inches!

“Fibber.”

Truth be told, I’m exactly 5 feet 3-3/4 inches. Here’s my “secret”: If you put in a “taller” height, you get a reading like this: “You are 35 pounds underweight for your height. Here are some tips to help you gain weight.” (Oh, such glorious words!)

I dance out of the store, waving my tiny receipt in the air, and shout, “Yeah, I need to gain weight!” Shoppers scoot out of my way as I gallop upstairs to Starbucks and order my double mocha cappuccino.

Deception?

Yes. I’m really 10 pounds overweight. The same 10 pounds I gain and lose in five-year cycles. And the same—seemingly endless—vanity pounds that keep disappearing and reappearing. So what’s the point?

This is January (right?) . . . and next month is February (I think!). So between now and chocolate season (my heart’s desire), I need to lose 10 pounds (only because I have my cholesterol checked on February 14—heart day!). If that’s not an incentive, I don’t know what is?

Here’s the serious part (you knew I’d get to it!): I’m a survivor (as in cancer). So why should I care about my cholesterol, my weight, and taking care of myself? Because now I have so much more to live for. I got a taste of life ten years ago—while facing my own mortality (if that isn’t an oxymoron?)—and I LOVE LIFE! I think that’s the proper “weigh” to live.

LIVE WELL.

LOVE MUCH.

LAUGH OFTEN.

And pleeeeease throw out the BATHROOM scales!

“A merry heart does good, like medicine . . . ” (The Bible!).

Living Life Passionately and a "little" Lighter,

Simplicity!

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I have re-evaluated my life and I am simplifying! I took a hard look at all I'm doing between now and when we move to California and realized, there's not enough "me" to go around.

I've cleared my calendar of all unnecessary stuff (that was hard!) and here's what I came up with for the next six months:

1. Make "me" a priority. I will go to the gym faithfully (every morning--no excuses!). Four more pounds to reach my goal weight (the home stretch is in sight). No peeking at e-mail until I return from the gym (period!).
2. Preparations for our move to California which also includes cleaning, packing, sorting and throwing away the non-essentials (one drawer, one closet, one file cabinet at a time).
3. Blog only twice a week and disable comments for the next three months (a temporary meaure).
4. Speaking engagements, no more than twice a month until moving preparations are complete.
5. Writing days (two full days per week), until the book "Moms of Sons" is done. Publisher due date: September 2009.
6. Spa days (once a month). I have a certificate from October 2008 that I haven't even used yet (and the last time I checked, we're in 2009).
7. Freelance work (two articles per week--no more!).
8. Date night reinstituted (once a week) or more as needed.
9. E-book on mentoring (to be completed by August 2009).
10. Try to figure out what to do with our cat Bianca. Do we bring her with us to California or do we find a loving home for her in Pennsylvania?

Newsflash: I changed my blog address to http://www.livinglifepassionately.com/ because I thought it was more simple than http://www.livinglifepasionately.blogstpot.com/. That's progress, don't you think? And I changed the color back to white (pure simplicity). It helps me to think in clean lines.

Wow, I feel like a new person. This week the mold remediation people are coming to clean our basement and maybe I won't have to wear my "gas" mask when I venture into the basement. I just happen to be in the 15 percent of people who are allergic to mold.

Here's to living simply again!

Winter Beach Party GIVEAWAY!

Today it’s a balmy 35 degrees. To my dear friends in Florida and California, this may not seem like a sunny day to you, but believe me after weeks and weeks of wind, ice and subzero temperatures…this is as good as it gets.

So in honor of my favorite activity and warmer weather ahead (I hope!), I’m having a “Day at the Beach” party and you’re all invited.

And there’s more…a free GIVEAWAY! It’s a day at the beach in a box (from the life in miniature series). Just leave a comment and write about your favorite beach experience and I’ll toss your name in the sand bucket.

The winner will be drawn on February 1, 2009.

Here’s what you will receive: sea shells, sandals, white sand, sand container, beach chair, beach umbrella, beach ball, and floating ring. Sorry, but you’ll have to bring your own picnic lunch. All of this is yours to enjoy without the added risk of a sunburn.

And just in time for spring, I'll include an autographed copy of The Ultimate Mom by Chicken Soup. But you'll have to wait until April 1, 2009 for that one!

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite beach photographs...

To warmer days ahead!



P.S. Deena the PINK is for you sweet friend!! Here's hoping your day is a blessing. When I need encouragement, I run to "Can I be pretty in pink?"

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beach party, summer fun, free, giveaway

Moms of Sons

As moms of sons, we get left out of a lot of things, like “Mother/Daughter Banquets” and shopping sprees. I remember when we were in ministry, I had to “rent” a daughter to take to the banquet every year (usually from a mom that had more than one to spare!).

If I’m honest, I have missed having a daughter—you know…dressing her up in pink, going out to lunch, and doing “girly-girl” things.

That’s why I’m so thankful to be part of Extreme Diva Media that is on a mission to celebrate friendship in 2009. You can read all about it on the website Jean Ann Duckworth has created so masterfully. But the premise of a “diva” has nothing to do with Britney Spears or “Jaylo,” but rather to create less stress, more joy, develop simplicity, and to honor relationships.

And how do we do that? By spending time with our girlfriends (of course!). My author friend, Kathy Pride, is putting more “margins” in her life right now because her kids are scattered in ages 9 to 27. Mine have just about flown the coop. In fact, today I received Jon’s graduation pictures in the mail (and sobbed). He is graduating summa cum laude and looks so handsome in his cap and gown.


I just wrote out the check for his yearbook and included a photo with a caption (more tears!). I reminisced how Jon was my “slow” to talk little guy. But he loved reading from Richard Scarry’s Dictionary at naptime. We started with the A’s and by the C’s, Jon was asleep (always!). I caught this picture of him developing his pre-college study habits (book open, eyes closed, and sunglasses on).

As I thought about those times of rest (reading to my “babies”), I have no regrets. I treasured every moment of “mommyhood” and wouldn’t change a thing!

And now that Jon is graduating in May 2009 (and “yes” he has a job already). He signed on with a major marketing firm on January 7, 2009 (so he’s officially on “summer break”). We figured out that he could make straight D’s and still graduate with a 3.40 average! But knowing Jon, he will never be late for class (and will probably show up a few minutes early), and won’t take anything less than an A.

We’ve had some great times over the past six weeks of vacation: watching DVD’s, talking and having leisurely breakfasts, celebrating Jon’s new job, thinking about the future and what a move to Cleveland will entail (that’s where his new job is located), and wondering what furniture he can take from our house to set up his new apartment. How did these four years pass so quickly? What was I doing?

I know, I was thinking about what I missed about not having a daughter. Well, guess what? I would be passing out more pink ribbons, and so it’s with a thankful heart that I will not have to pass on this disease to my daughter. It’s already touched too many lives in our family.

Instead, I will celebrate the joy of “renting” daughters, loving my “daughter-in-laws,” and adding my name to the book, Moms of Sons by Extreme Diva Media.

Boy, do I have some stories to tell…

Living Life Passionately,




P.S. I have some giveaways coming up. Several books are coming out that I have had the privilege of being a part of, including The Ultimate Mom by Chicken Soup (they are including three of my stories). Due out on April 1, 2009 (no joke!).

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moms, sons, pink ribbons, family, gratitude, college graduation

Ice Capades

This morning I awoke to “crunching”—the sound of ice being scraped off windshields. Unlike snow—where the world is hushed under layers of white—ice is noisy!

I peered out the window and it was spectacular…an ice palace had formed overnight. I grabbed my camera, my clogs, and “rain” gear and headed outside (treacherous, but it was worth it).

The grass sounded like broken glass beneath my feet as I held onto the neighbor’s fence to guide me to the berry trees. There are no safe spots in an ice storm and only a small window of opportunity to catch the ice crystals before the rain washes them away.



My “trees of Tuscany” looked like the twin leaning towers of Pisa. I chuckled at the weight they were carrying and wanted to say, “It’s okay, you’ll stand straight and tall once again—maybe!” Actually their branches reminded me of my hair when I scrunch too much mousse into it.

This is our fifth—maybe sixth—ice storm of the year and not my favorite type of weather pattern. You can’t play in it, build snowmen, throw snowballs, or even make snow angels. It’s only good to look at—much like the "icing on the cake." So this morning, I “basked” in the splendor of the gift that only nature can bring.



Enjoy my “ice capades” and be thankful that you live in an ice-free environment, which is why we are moving to California (in just 13 short months); they just have fog, rain, and sunshine.

Ahh...that will be "berry, berry" nice!






P.S. Did you notice the new pink on my blog? There's a reason why everything is coming up PINK! More on that tomorrow...

Here's a sneak peek! See if you recognize the pink boa in the EDM Magazine (hint: page 2-3).

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ice storms, Lancaster County

What's In and What's Out for 2009!

I just read the Washington Post’s article on “What’s In and What’s Out for 2009”? I guess it’s no surprise that Jon and Kate Plus Eight is out! They actually moved from our quiet little town, so they are no longer our “neighbors.” Having the street back to normal is a great relief to all; no more traffic jams in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania.

But I was disappointed that Rick Warren was voted out! C’mon…I just bought the “Purpose Driven” office calendar for 2009. Personally, I don’t think that Rick is ever going away (or the principles that he stands for). Don’t they know he’s giving the invocation at the inauguration? I'm still waiting for my tickets to arrive in the mail (if you know of their whereabouts please let me know).

The greatest disappointment of all was “Mamma Mia!” is out. No way, no how. My hubby is watching it downstairs right now as my little fingers dance on these keys. Jon can’t stand it, so he fled to the basement to escape the “noise.” I for one will never, ever depart with my DVD. It’s here to stay…at least in our house (sorry, Jon!).

There you have it…what’s in and what’s out for 2009! I'll let you know what's "on and off" my list for 2009 next time we "talk."










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New Year

Blessings for 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!


Blessings and Joy,